A Happy Woman Is A Beautiful Woman

The short story “Eight Bites” by essayist Carmen Maria Machado, displays a woman— the narrator— who is insecure about her body. Lacking happiness, she decides to change that by getting bariatric surgery. From a psychoanalytic perspective, the story shows the troublesome nature concerning a woman’s mental health when battling with body dysmorphia. Carmen Maria Machado’s diction in “ Eight Bites” illustrates the Freudian concepts of repression and wishful impulse as the narrator forces her body into the preconceived notion that being skinny is physical perfection.

The narrator’s conception of beauty is adopted from witnessing her mother eat eight bites of food during her childhood. When the narrator describes her body before surgery, she says her physique doesn’t compare to her mother’s, who “ always looked normal, not hearty or curvy or Rubenesque or Midwestern or voluptuous, just normal” (Machado) The word normal is repeated two times and by not using the word to describe her body, the narrator is emphasizing that her voluptuous body does not conform to the standard set by society, which her mom abides by. Not only does the usage of normal imply the narrator is different, it also reveals the trauma that was unintentionally instilled upon her by her mother. According to Sigmund Freud’s stance on psychoanalysis, there’s always underlying trauma that accompanies displayed symptoms. In this case, the insecurities and hatred for her body are the symptoms the narrator experiences due to the trauma of failing to mirror her mother’s body— sees this as a failure to make her mother proud. After seeing her third sister happily flaunt her new body, Freud’s terminology of suppression is applicable in this case because the narrator is conscious of the memory of her mother’s words, but she didn’t act upon it as she tried to suppress it. Her sister’s happiness is the trigger of the memory, so she attempts to only eat eight bites of food and stop. However, she continues to pick up her fork to eat additional bites while admiring “the salad leaves were dripping vinegar and oil and the noodles had lemon and cracked pepper and everything was just so beautiful”( Machado). This is a positive connotated description of the food, revealing that the narrator appreciates the food and it makes her feel good to eat. Because the narrator was indulged in her food, she forgot about her objective in eating eight bites, resulting in her being angry with tears.

The narrator experiences multiple instances of repression following the suppression of her trauma. As stated in Sigmund Freud’s, “Five Lectures of Psychoanalysis”, repression is about “ the forgetting and must have pushed the pathogenic experiences in question out of consciousness” (Freud 2212). For instance, the narrator constantly hears her three sisters exclaim, “ I feel so good” due to “Surgery. A surgery” (Machado). The gastric bypass surgery was able to bring joy into the lives of her three sisters, while she watches them in her curvy body with feelings of insecurity. She fails to question why she doesn’t feel so good and the repetition of the word surgery shows how the surgery is seen as a necessity for happiness; the surgery is responsible for the sisters feeling good. This encourages the narrator to repress her feelings of self-doubt, resorting to surgery as a form of happiness. Furthermore, the narrator represses the feelings pertaining to her negative body image and its impact on her relationship with her daughter. Cal, the narrator’s daughter, is opposed to bariatric surgery’s promise of happiness and heartbreakingly asks, “Do you hate my body, Mom?” when on the phone with the narrator (Machado). Because the narrator failed to find beauty and happiness in the curves she once possessed, Cal wonders if her mother hates her for happily accepting the same curves. Due to her fixation on body image, the narrator represses the fact that she can’t understand her daughter and doesn’t attempt to because she can’t acknowledge the underlying trauma’s impact. This highlights the broken relationship the narrator has with her daughter; she was never able to provide the love Cal needed as a girl, whose body was transforming into a woman.

The narrator’s wishful desire was to lose the excess weight she had, so she can mold herself into her mother’s idea of the perfect body. She does not want others to see her as a fat woman and judge her based on that image. According to Sigmund Freud, the narrator’s wishful desire is the Freudian concept of “wishful impulse”, which was different from “the subject’s other wishes and which proved incompatible with the ethical and aesthetic standards of his personality” (Freud 2212). This proves that this sudden desire needed to be fulfilled quickly or else the repression could’ve led to the development of symptoms. The narrator’s wishful impulse was manifested by gastric bypass surgery, resulting in her expressing, “ I am a new woman” (Machado). The surgeon had told her “you’re going to be the happiest woman alive” after the procedure (Machado). Her sisters and people around her noticed the difference in her figure and were satisfied for her, but the narrator realized she had no fulfillment. About her wishful impulse, she says, “ I will curl into her body, which was my body once, but I was a poor caretaker and she was removed from my charge” (Machado). This reveals that acting upon your wishful desire means you will do anything and you can’t reverse your actions— like the narrator; her procedure is irreversible.

In conclusion, the narrator struggles to accept and love her curvaceous body. For so long she has repressed her trauma and then acts upon her wishful impulse to fit the idea of normalcy, only to be dissatisfied with who she has longed to be. These Freudian concepts reveal that trauma can leave you with upsetting emotions and memories that won’t disappear no matter how much you repress them.

Works Cited:
Freud, Sigmund. “FIVE LECTURES ON PSYCHO-ANALYSIS .” Sept. 1909.
Machado, Carmen Maria. “Eight Bites.” Gulf Coast Magazine, texas.gulfcoastmag.org/journal/29.2-summer/fall-2017/eight-bites/.

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